Change Your Feelings, Change Your Attitude

It almost goes without saying, but when I'm grumpy I have a bad attitude. 

What this tells me is that my attitude - which can be fairly easily ascertained by my facial expression and body language - is simply an external representation of my internal feelings. 

 If I'm feeling down, my body sags. Doesn't yours? 

Now it's not any secret that the answer to a bad attitude is a good laugh, a smile, and pleasant thoughts. Why? Because you can't genuinely laugh and smile without a corresponding good feeling. Our feelings have a direct impact on our outward demeanor. 

The challenge is controlling our feelings. Here's the principle: Change our feelings, change our attitude!

Good news is that we can control our feelings. We're not at the mercy of our emotional life. Emotions (the well from which our feelings arise) serve as a barometer of what's going on inside of us. 

And we can change what's going on inside. How? By monitoring our thoughts. Our thoughts affect our feelings which in turn shows up in our attitude.

I've found that the best way to monitor our thoughts is by listening to our self-talk. In other words, we need to think about our thinking. 

This might be a true difference between humankind and the animal kingdom. We have the ability to consider our thought process and not just react by instinct (which seems more emotional in nature, doesn't it?) 

Therefore, since we can control our thoughts, we have the ability to influence our feelings and thus change our attitude. That is good news indeed!

Unlimited Power & Giants Within

Reposting and updating this blog entry from 2005...

Awaken the Giant Within
by Anthony Robbins

A giant best seller!

Almost everyone familiar with self-help is aware of Anthony Robbins and NLP (google it if you aren't). I was skeptical before reading both Unlimited Power (1986) and Awaken the Giant Within (1991) but was impressed with the practical, no nonsense principles that Robbins espouses.

Although sprinkled with Christian verbiage and a bit of God-talk, I didn't catch Tony syncretizing religious beliefs, at least not in these books. I have not kept up with his current work to determine if he's maintained a "Norman Vincent Peale" approach to faith and self-help or not.

The books are very practical, full of great exercises, and with too many ideas to summarize with one quote. But I did find his explanation of our Reticular Activating System (RAS) helpful in Awaken the Giant Within.

This shift in mental posture aligns you more precisely with your goals. Once you decide that something is a priority, you give it tremendous emotional intensity, and by continually focusing on it, any resource that supports its attainment will eventually become clear. (p. 288)

This makes more sense to me than magically "magnetizing" wealth into our lives (like The Secret advocates with the Law of Attraction). Simply put, the RAS works because when we focus on a question or problem our mind becomes engaged to find solutions. An example is when we car shop. We never noticed lime green VW Bugs before, but now that we're buying, everyone is driving one! That's your RAS at work.

So, if you're looking for an indepth analysis of the connection between our beliefs and our actions - along with practical steps to take for improving yourself - Robbins has a lot to offer in these thick books (both over 400 pages). Read with discernment, but go ahead and pick one up from a used book store.

Secrets of the Millionaire Mind

Secrets of the Millionaire Mind
Mastering the Inner Game of Wealth
by T. Harv Eker (2005 HarperBusiness)

And mastering the "inner game" is exactly right. The strength of this book lies in the helpful explanation of the "Money Blueprint" that each of us has grown up with. We each have a subconscious "financial blueprint" that may or may not be set for success. (And if yours isn't "set" on alert, then reading this post will not help because you'll simply dismiss what you are reading or skip it all together.)

This is explained in Part I - how each of us is conditioned to think and act a certain way when it comes to money. Our thinking has been programmed by the attitudes and actions of people that have influenced us, typically our parents. But the good news is that we can implement some key strategies so that we can revise our mental money blueprint.

Part II examines the differences between how rich, middle-class, and poor people think. And it's true, we think differently at different socio-economic levels. The author then provides 17 attitude and action exercises that will lead to a change in our thinking and thus a subsequent change in our financial life - if we take action!

The basis for this change - any change really - is this simple formula: Thoughts lead to Feelings lead to Actions lead to Results. The challenge is to change our thoughts - and this is done by re-programming what we think and believe about wealth and money. We've already been programmed by our past. Let's take control of our thinking and re-program our minds so that our future isn't simply a repetition of the past.

Like most other books of this nature, the author's strength is practical in nature not theological. He mixes a bit of God talk in for good measure but doesn't provide a solid biblical basis for his thesis. The scriptural arguments exist, but T. Harv Eker is not biblically equipped to deal with them. This is unfortunate as many who are seeking help here from a spiritual perspective will come away with something less than satisfying. But, that being said, the principles he espouses are solid and (can be) life changing.

The Magic of Thinking Big

How to set your goals high . . . and then exceed them!

So encourages the subtitle of The Magic of Thinking Big by David J. Schwartz. This classic best seller...

"Presents a planned program for living on a big scale - in one's job, marriage and family life, and in social and cultural activities. [It] proves you need not have great intellect or great talent to be a giant among men. But you do need the habit of thinking and acting in the manner that brings success - and this book gives you the secret." (from the introduction)

Of course, "the secret" to accomplishing anything is believing you can and then backing up that belief with massive action. This book, originally published in 1959 and a bit dated in some of its examples and illustrations, nevertheless delivers a positive, powerful message for those who want to learn the habits of "living big." Topics include:

• Believe You Can Succeed and You Will
• Cure Yourself of Excusitis, the Failure Disease
• Build Confidence and Destroy Fear
• How to Think Big
• You Are What You Think You Are
• Manage Your Environment
• How to Turn Defeat Into Victory
• How to Think Like a Leader
  

These chapter titles will have a familiar ring to them because this book was at the vanguard of the self-help movement we know today. So much of what is written today is based on the principles espoused by personal development leaders like William James, Napoleon Hill, Russell Conwell, James Allen, Les Giblin, Maxwell Maltz, Norman Vincent Peale, and of course, David Schwartz.

Bottom line: Some solid principles taught in an enticing manner, encouraging the reader to go ahead and think big! (Hmm, wonder if Donald Trump read this book ;-)

Poverty vs Middle vs World Class Thinking

The two greatest influencing factors on how we think (and thus how we live) are:

1. The books we read, and ...
   
2. The people we associate with.

The types of books we read reflect how we think about ourselves. Are we constantly in "fantasy land" trying to escape reality by reading novels with little or no moral redeeming value? Or are we learning from history, engaging in personal development, and understanding how money and business works?

The types of people we associate with is also critical in how we think about ourselves and even where we end up in life. Take our income level, for example. Add up the annual salaries of your several closest friends and divide it by that number and you'll likely have your annual income. We are who we hang around.

What this means is that we generally gravitate toward five broad categories of thinking and living based on the books we read and the people we hang around. According to Steven Siebold (author of 177 Mental Toughness Secrets of the World Class), those categories are poverty, working, middle, upper, and world class thinking.

Those with a poverty or working class mentality talk about (and mostly grumble about) the past. They are constantly blaming others for their failures, for not getting ahead, for their bad breaks in life. Could be a boss, a parent, a teacher. They got screwed over by someone and that's why they are where they are at. It's a victim mindset.

Those with a middle class mentality talk about other people - comparing up or down and always trying to position themselves a little better than their peers. It's either keep up with the Joneses or it's bragging about their latest toy. The middle class have also deluded themselves into thinking that they are where they're at because of their hard work. Most middle class folks thought they hit a double when in fact they were born on second base.

Those with an upper, or better yet, world class mentality talk about ideas. They are always looking for ways to grow, increase, become better, build, influence more, impact more, do more, be more. And so they are reading books that help them think better. They associate with positive, excited people and avoid negative, limiting people.

Questions to Ponder:

• Are you focused on the past, other people, or big ideas?
  
• What books are you reading that support the direction you want to go?
  
• What people in your life do you need to limit your exposure to?
  
• When will you begin to implement the answers to these questions?
  

Distributing Good Words

Did a word study awhile back on "communication."

Surprising definition, really. It means to have things in common. To communicate means to share or distribute items so that both parties may enjoy them.

What items are to be shared? Words. Good words.

Here's a principle to apply from the Apostle Paul: "Let him that is taught in the word communicate unto him that teacheth in all good things." I use this old fashioned translation of the bible (the King James Version of Galatians 6.6) to point out the word behind communicate. It's koinonia, the Greek word for fellowship or sharing.

A modern translation would use the word share: "Anyone who receives instruction in the word must share all good things with the instructor." (same verse, New International Version)

This does not necessarily mean financial support. Yes, we should pay our teachers an adequate salary. But more than that, we can bestow upon those who instruct us - and upon anyone for that matter - a gift of words.

Some call this speaking a blessing. I think of it as distributing good words. Isn't this what communication should be about? Every day we have opportunities to give encouraging, nourishing words to others. Every day we have opportunities to practice our communication skills.

But distributing good words on a consistent basis is difficult. I've found that I need to monitor two areas of my speech if I'm going to become a better communicator.

First, I need to watch for the rise of hurtful words that tear people down. I need to stop the flow of negative words before they dribble out - or gush out as the case may be - and do damage to others.

Here's another great principle to apply. The Apostle Peter says that love "covers over" a multitude of sins (see 1 Peter 4.8). In other words, love "puts a lid on it" and doesn't broadcast a failing. When tempted to "share a concern" about another's faults, love zips the lip.

Second, I need to be sensitive to the situation of the person I want to communicate with. That is, I need to watch for the green light and say a good word at a good time. Understanding another's needs, pressures, and dreams helps us with what to say and when to say it.

Of course, this entails listening. To distribute good words to the right destination at the right time requires receiving the correct information and signals from the other person. So becoming a better communicator not only involves sharing good words, but listening so that those good words can be received at the best time.

Questions to Ponder

• Do you see your communication as the distribution of good words?
• What might be preventing you from communicating more effectively?
• Develop a list of people with whom you want to share good words.

Looking forward to sharing with you and receiving good words from you!

Daily Affirmations, Part 4

Today's affirmations are from Tom Hopkins, a sales and leadership trainer, who has had a tremendous impact on my thinking about 'failure' and how to re-frame experiences I once thought were negative. Say this three times daily! :-)

I never see failure as failure,
but only as a learning experience.
I never see failure as failure,
but only as the negative feedback I need to change course in my direction.
I never see failure as failure,
but only as the opportunity to develop my sense of humor.
I never see failure as failure,
but only as an opportunity to practice my techniques and perfect my performance.
I never see failure as failure,
but only as the game I must play to win.

I am not judged by the number of times I fail, but by the number of times I succeed; and the number of times I succeed is in direct proportion to the number of times I can fail and keep trying!

More del.icio.us Affirmations!

Developing a Biblical PMA

Positive Mental Attitude

Don't discount the role of PMA in your life. Harnessing our mental faculties for creating positive environs for ourselves and other people is a laudable and attainable goal. In fact, it is a biblical mandate.

The Apostle Paul commends to us the pondering of those things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy (Phil 4.8,9). If these aren't positive in nature then the adjective has no meaning. We are to think on, dwell upon these positive virtues.

Unfortunately, many of us have been taught that if a principle is popularized by the "self-help" movement or is taught by psychologists (gasp!) then it is automatically suspect. And, to be sure, we ought to use discernment when evaluating any teaching.

Especially now, relative to the current frenzy surrounding The Secret. It's easy to jump onto one of two bandwagons - either we buy into its teachings without question or reject everything to do with it without thinking. But if we're honest, we know the path is found somewhere between the two extremes.

Indeed, the Secret and the Bible have one thing in common at least. And that is the conviction that what we think about is undeniably important! So much so that the Apostle again writes to a local church, "Take captive every thought" (2 Cor 10.5). Both the Secret and the Bible teach us to control our thinking.

But here's the crucial difference. The Scripture teaches us to take every thought captive in order "to make it obedient to Christ." The media, our culture, other people, past experiences all shape how we think so it is incumbent upon us to monitor and control, as far as possible, these influencing factors. But the purpose, for the Christian, is to be conformed to the mind of Christ.

This speaks to our motivation. Why should we develop a positive mental attitude? Because the characteristics that describe such an attitude are the characteristics of Christ. And since Jesus is our model, teacher, and Lord, we will want to pattern our lives after him.

For further discussion (borrowed from my pastor, btw) here are some key differences between the world's take on PMA and developing a biblical PMA (feel free to comment below if you know of others):

• Motivation ~ Followers of Jesus want to become like him and give glory to God, not simply utilize positive principles for our own benefit or even for those around us.
• Goal ~ To serve others, witness to God's power, and build up the body of Christ, not simply accumulate money and become prosperous for our own benefit or even for those around us.
• Means ~ The resource we have that enables us to develop a positive mental attitude is Jesus Christ himself ("I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" Phil 4.13) not some "higher self" or "infinite intelligence" or impersonal "universal energy."
• Outlook ~ We have an eternal relationship with our Creator to look forward to - and our PMA is a result of this truth, not a means toward it. The world teaches techniques of positive thinking in order to attain some final state of being known variously as heaven, nirvana, enlightenment, or oneness with the universe.

So yes, by all means, let's control our thinking. We can all agree on that. And one of the best ways to start is to think about what we think about. This will help us evaluate the motive, goal, means, and outlook behind our desire for developing our PMA.

But may I suggest one thing more? That we think about how we think about God? For this will determine whether we're developing a PMA based on his truth or whether we're trying to go it alone.

Daily Affirmations, Part 2

Today's Affirmation is based on Zig Ziglar's 30 Day Confidence Builder. First thing in the morning and last thing at night, by yourself, in front of a mirror, stand up straight, square your shoulders, look yourself in the eye and quietly, firmly say in the first-person, present-tense:

I, __________, am a person of integrity with a good attitude and specific goals. I have a high energy level, am enthusiastic, and take pride in my appearance and what I do. I have a sense of humor, lots of faith, wisdom, and the vision, empathy and courage to use my talents effectively. I have character and am knowledgeable. My convictions are strong and I have a healthy self-image, a passion for what is right, and a solid hope for the future.

I am an honest, sincere, hard-working person. I am tough but fair and sensitive. I'm disciplined, motivated, and focused. I am a good listener and patient, but take decisive action. I am bold, authoritative and confident, yet humble. I am an encourager, a good-finder, an excellent communicator and am developing winning habits.

I am a student, a teacher, and a self-starter. I am obedient, loyal, responsible, dependable and prompt. I have a servant's heart, am ambitious and a team-player. I am personable, optimistic and organized. I am consistent, considerate and resourceful. I am intelligent, competent, persistent and creative. I am health-conscious, balanced and sober. I am flexible, punctual and thrifty.

I am an honorable person who is truly grateful for the opportunity God has given me. These are the qualities of the winner I was born to be and I am fully committed to develop these marvelous qualities with which I have been entrusted. Today is the first day of my life, and it's wonderful!

Before bed, add: Tonight I'm going to sleep wonderfully well. I will dream powerful, positive dreams. I will awaken energized and refreshed, and tomorrow's going to be magnificent!

More del.icio.us Affirmations!

Change Your Thinking Change Your Life

Did you know that each one of our beliefs is a choice?

Even those we aren't consciously aware of. We still choose. We've chosen to accept most of our beliefs "without argument." That is, we unconsciously buy into what others have told us about ourselves and the world around us. Or we simply accept a certain interpretation of a past experience and assume that future events hold the same meaning.

For the most part, this allows us to function in a relatively healthy manner. Imagine trying to evaluate every detail of every decision we make every day to determine if we truly believe it so that we can act on it. We'd be paralyzed. We live life on faith for the most part, and this is good.

But in many cases our beliefs should be challenged.

Especially when we begin to realize that we're holding negative and self-limiting beliefs because "that's what I've always been told." Beliefs like: "I'm no good at math." ~ "I'm not a people person." ~ "I've never been good with directions." ~ "I'm a terrible cook."

Who says?! Who told you that? Probably a person, a cultural expectation, or past experience. But we can choose a different belief. Some people say that they aren't readers. Well, if you read a book guess what? You become a reader! It's a matter of choice. That's great news. It means we aren't victims to past influences or patterns of behavior.

So how do we change our beliefs? The answer is by thinking about our thoughts. Whenever we make a statement to ourselves or about ourselves, become aware of that self-talk. Bring it to light and then change your thinking about it. It's a choice.

And when we change our thinking, we change our lives. We'll explore this topic further, but for now look at the progression this sets in motion.

When you change your thinking, you change your beliefs;
When you change your beliefs, you change your expectations;
When you change your expectations, you change your attitude;
When you change your attitude, you change your behavior;
When you change your behavior, you change your performance;
When you change your performance, you change your life!

You already choose your beliefs. The question is, will you choose to evaluate them and change them if necessary? It's up to you.

Think Like A Winner!

[Note: This post is taken from the first page of Walter Doyle Staples' Think Like A Winner! I've added a couple of notes in brackets for clarification. lgp]

"If you want to get the results that winners get,
you must first think like a winner thinks!"

So how does a winner think? Here is a list of the ten core beliefs that are unique to all peak performing men and women. Consider each one carefully, and imagine what your world would begin to look like if you held the same beliefs and made them a part of your life today.

• One: Winners are not born, they are made.
• Two: The dominant force in your existence is the thinking you engage in.
• Three: You are empowered to create your own reality [aka environment].
• Four: There is some benefit to be had from every adversity.
• Five: Each one of your beliefs is a choice.
• Six: You are never defeated until you accept defeat as a reality, and decide to stop trying.
• Seven: You already possess the ability to excel in at least one key area of your life.
• Eight: The only real limitations on what you can accomplish in your life are those you impose on yourself [other than some genetic limitations, but even then, these are greatly overrated].
• Nine: There can be no great success without great commitment.
• Ten: You need the support and cooperation of other people to achieve any worthwhile goal.

Prayer of Jabez & Secrets of the Vine

The Prayer of Jabez
Breaking Through to the Blessed Life
by Bruce Wilkinson (Multnomah, 2000)

This simple little book caused quite a stir a few years ago. Anything popular does. While some of the concern was valid, most was manufactured in order to sell opposing books. I think publishing houses look for bandwagons to jump onto or shoot at.

One misplaced accusation centered on what some said was a formulaic prescription for instant success. And while Jabez' prayer (in 1 Chronicles 4.9-10) is quite succinct, it isn't necessarily a magic pill. In fact, Wilkinson's extended devotional on these verses reveals a balanced view that prayer is to be infused with confident humility.

For those not familiar with the "four easy prayers" (critics' view, not mine) to a blessed life, they are:

• "Oh, that You would bless me indeed!"
• "Oh, that You would enlarge my territory!"
• "Oh, that Your hand would be with me!"
• "Oh, that You would keep me from evil!"
  

These are not selfish requests. When placed in the context of living for God, whom the author makes clear is the true source of all blessing, then these petitions are rightly extended to mean:

• Bless me in order to make me a blessing.
• Increase my influence and impact for You.
• Without You I can do nothing that lasts.
• Protect me from evil and causing evil.
  

Still not satisfied with the brevity of this work? Well, this wasn't meant to be a theological tome. It is what it is - a devotional. Is there more to be said? Yes. In fact, in Bruce Wilkinson's follow up book, he explores John 15 and the pruning (discipline) we must experience if we truly are going to experience a life of abundance.

Secrets of the Vine
Breaking Through to Abundance
by Bruce Wilkinson (Multnomah, 2001)

Taken together, these two little volumes pack an important positive message for believers going through struggle, doubt, and uncertainty. Recommended reading.

For more resources, visit The Breakthrough Series.

The Theology of Self-Help

Don't laugh.

That's actually what I'm trying to do here at Thought Renewal - develop a theology of self improvement and personal development. Now hear me out before you report me to Lighthouse Trails. :-)

In this extended blog entry I'll summarize my belief that God is actually behind the "self-help" movement and is calling us to "help our selves" to all the riches of his mercy and grace. And like with everything, if he is acknowledged as Lord, then the principles of this movement can be used for our benefit and for his glory.

Please don't skim this article. If you don't have time to digest the full message and follow my line of reasoning to the end, don't read it. You'll see a link to the full post below. These first couple of paragraphs are here to serve as a teaser, if you will.

So enjoy. And help yourself to whatever else you find here.

Help Yourself! by Lyn Perry (c) 2007

Now these are words I like to hear, don’t you?

My wife and I went over to a friend's house recently. Before we even made it through the door our host invited us to make ourselves at home. Isn't this a great invitation? You’ve been greeted this way before I'm sure. Think back to the last time you went over to a friend's place. You probably weren't through knocking before you heard something like, "Come on in. Pour yourself a pop. Help yourself!" Pop, soda – depends on where you're from – either way, these are welcoming words, inviting you to kick off your shoes and make yourself comfortable.

So what do you do? What else can you do? You make yourself at home! It would be rude not to. By serving yourself you are accepting an invitation to join the family and relax in the company of friends. In fact, this kind of invite is primarily extended to those closest to us for it assumes a trust and fellowship that strangers, by definition, do not enjoy.

Let's take a closer look at this informal social contract: Help yourself.

Note two implications. Within the phrase help yourself is first an invitation. We typically do not barge into someone's home and immediately open the fridge. This behavior is reserved for college students (just kidding!). Even the most outgoing among us wait for some words of welcome. We may know for certain what the host will say, yet still we wait for the invitation.

Second, help yourself is an expression of familiarity, even intimacy. It isn't said to everyone. As we've noted, it's an offer typically reserved for family and friends.

This is an issue of trust. Both the host and the guest are confident that their relationship is genuine. For you see, not only does the host accept the guest into his or her home without reservation, but the guest accepts the host's invitation based upon the assumption that he or she is a trustworthy person. I'm trusting that my friend won't slip anything into my drink.

You might be thinking by now, "What does all this have to do with personal growth?" I think it will become clear in a moment because I believe the implications of this welcoming phrase, help yourself, puts our quest for personal development in perspective.

Go here to read the whole essay.

Some Personal Growth Carnivals

A number of great carnivals out there. Here are a few I'm aware of.

Moses of Three Sticks Blog did a great job hosting his first roundup, the Personal Development Carnival. A number of categories to dip into, including Finding Success, Getting Things Done, and Creating A New You. Check it out. And submit a post of your own.

Widows Quest says, Let's Start the Week Positively and collects a number of positive links to help us do just that. Topics include getting rid of stinking thinking; 5 life-changing keys to overcoming your fear; risk taking - living life to the fullest; and a crisis may be a blessing in disguise.

Brain Cramps for God hosted the most recent Christian Carnival and linked to my book review, Wild at Heart under the heading of discernment. Other featured spiritual gift categories include evangelism, encouragement, giving, teaching. Great reading.

UPDATE 2.27.07 ~ Evolving Times is hosting the Law of Attraction Carnival - Physical Health Edition. I've had some good interactions to my comments from the blog host, Ed Mills, who always seem to respond in a positive manner even when disagreeing with me.

Beyond Positive Thinking Update

My premier post to Thought Renewal was Saturday, June 04, 2005 and it was a short response to one of the first books I'd read that mentioned the concept of attracting things - positive or negative - into our lives based on our thinking (i.e., the "law of attraction").

Yes, I'd heard that what we focus on grows and that we reap what we sow. But Robert Anthony's book Beyond Positive Thinking opened an interesting perspective for me by clearly demonstrating the power of "right thinking."

My concern with his book is that, while many of the concepts are sound, it is based on a gnostic worldview - as much of this type of literature is. Here's what I wrote in my first blog entry:

Interacting with Beyond Positive Thinking, a book by Robert Anthony. One of the many self-help resources available online and anywhere. I like the challenge to move beyond positive vs negative thinking and begin right thinking, but listen to this:

The truth is we are in darkness because of our ignorance. (p 2)

Really? Is lack of knowledge all that is wrong with our world? Hmm. Let's put this to the test over the next few weeks. Whenever I do something wrong I'll just go to my bookshelf and get more knowledge. I suspect I'll be reading quite a bit.

Today: Although I was a bit cynical in that first post, I still hold that knowledge is not the supreme answer to our darkness. We see educated derelicts all around us (and no, I'm not trying to be political here :-) We need something more than right thinking to save us from ourselves. Anthony's answer to the world's darkness is ultimately that of the gnostic. And gnosticism is simply salvation by knowledge:

This definition, based on the etymology of the word (gnosis "knowledge", gnostikos, "good at knowing"), is correct as far as it goes, but it gives only one, though perhaps the predominant, characteristic of Gnostic systems of thought. Whereas Judaism and Christianity, and almost all pagan systems, hold that the soul attains its proper end by obedience of mind and will to the Supreme Power, i.e. by faith and works, it is markedly peculiar to Gnosticism that it places the salvation of the soul merely in the possession of a quasi-intuitive knowledge of the mysteries of the universe and of magic formulae indicative of that knowledge. (New Advent Catholic Encyclopedia)

The quasi-intuitive knowledge of the mysteries of the universe. Magic formulae. Doesn't that mark this current surge of interest in this movement? And the teachers of The Secret are right there lead us into salvation. Well, that path has already been laid out:

"God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory." (Colossians 1:27)

The Theology of Self-Help Continued

Continued from the post, The Theology of Self-Help:

Help Yourself! by Lyn Perry (c) 2007

Let's face it, we're a self help society. From fill-up to checkout more of us help ourselves than ever before. In fact, successful companies have long understood the labor saving and cost cutting advantages of this trend. But this 'do-it-yourself' mentality has moved way beyond gas, groceries, and home improvement.

Look at the explosion of success literature. From the classic best sellers by Dale Carnegie and Norman Vincent Peale to the surge in popularity of Oprah, Dr. Phil, and Chicken Soup for Every Imaginable Soul, positive thinking has become a multibillion dollar business. Amazing!

Why is that? Is it an indication that we live in a self-obsessed culture? Are all these publishing companies simply pandering to the Narcissus in each of us? That may well be the case. But in my opinion there is something behind this movement that is good and right and necessary. Our longstanding fascination with self help is not so much a navel gazing exercise of the me-generation (although it can be that). I believe it is a legitimate response to an invitation.

We've been invited to help ourselves.

Open Invitation

Here's what I mean.

Imagine standing outside in the weather, knocking at the door, looking forward to the warmth of fire and friendship. Suddenly, the door swings wide, you're greeted with kisses and hugs. Come on in. Make yourself at home. Open the fridge and help yourself.

Reading and digesting a book on personal growth or attending a seminar on positive thinking mirrors this picture. It is simply accepting an offer to help yourself grow and develop to your fullest potential. The truth is, we all long for relationship, joy and fulfillment; that is, to come in from the cold. And we're knocking about searching for those things the best we can.

The personal development movement, then, is about – or at least should be about – accepting the invitation to help one's self to a satisfying, enjoyable, and abundant life. We may not be doing a very good job at it, we may be looking in some (very) wrong places, we may even become obsessed with all that is set before us. Nevertheless, there's an offer on the table and we're taking the host up on the invitation. This is a good and necessary response.

Who's Hosting This Party?

But here's an interesting question. If we're responding to an invitation, who is doing the inviting? Who is our host? Recall that within the phrase help yourself are two implications: Invitation and familiarity. We don't party in a vacuum. Neither do we develop ourselves by ourselves.

If my perspective on this topic is correct (and of course that is what I'm advocating!) then pursuing a vibrant life is about responding to a gracious host who wants us to say yes to fellowship, yes to friendship, yes to fulfillment. What's more, we are responding to a person who has our best interests at heart.

Think about that. This is an astounding truth. When it comes to all that life has to offer, someone is doing the offering and wants only what is best for us. Self help is simply responding to someone's invitation. But who is this someone?

Motivational writers and speakers often refer to a power or energy or wisdom available to each of us – a universal life force that we can tap into; that we can help ourselves to. With the right techniques and proper awareness, we can access Infinite Intelligence (a phrase used by a well known success author ).

Despite the capitalization ('Infinite Intelligence'), this energy field is not a personal being and should not be confused with the biblical concept of God. No matter the moniker, what many self-help authors are referring to is simply a natural force, an energy that permeates, and is often identified with, the universe.

This is not what I'm talking about. For a number of reasons. First, a force is impersonal. Impersonal objects do not invite people to help themselves. Only in poetry will the wind call us to set sail and head for the open sea. (I didn't say it had to be good poetry, but you get the idea.)

Second, energy is not relational. I'm speculating now, but I assume you would not want to pursue an intimate friendship with an electrical outlet or lightening bolt. So you see, this personal development movement, properly understood, is not really about tapping into some power source that already exists. No. Self help is responding to the Source of this power. Capitalization intended.

Time For An Illustration

Say there's a vending machine at work. You put your quarters in and grab a snack. In other words, you pay the price and help yourself. Now who is actually providing us the opportunity – in a sense, inviting us – to partake of this tasty and nutritional (broadly speaking) product? It's not the vending machine. We would think it mighty strange if we overheard a colleague thank a distribution mechanism for releasing a bag of chips. We don't look to some contraption as the ultimate source of provision. That would be silly. Obviously, someone is stocking the machine.

Snacks don't offer themselves. The only reason we can choose from the variety of goodies set before us is because someone – not something – is inviting us to 'help ourselves.' (By the way, don’t blame the vending machine or the vendor for your increase in caloric intake! We’ll cover taking personal responsibility at a later time.)

All Good Things

Now fortunately, the Creator of the universe is not indifferent about the offerings available to us. The Source behind all matter and energy is a personal being who cares about how this matter and energy are utilized. In fact, that is one reason why God (for this is the Someone we've been alluding to) created human beings. After creating all things, God installed Man and Woman as stewards and recipients of all that has been created. We have a veritable feast set before us. And we not only have permission we have a mandate to take what we've been given and . . . enjoy it!

Come on in. Make yourself at home. Enjoy yourself.

Our Host is extending to us a personal invitation to join the family, find friendship, and experience a life of abundance. This is a genuine offer and it is extended to each of us. Help yourself!

How do we go about doing this?

That is what we'll explore in the ongoing blog entries of Thought Renewal. The purpose of this blog is to help us learn to help ourselves to all good things in life. In the following months we'll discuss, among other things, five fundamental strategies (see below) for crafting a life of fulfillment.

Picture yourself as a masterpiece in progress. Your commitment to personally develop is not selfish, it is responding to the Master Craftsman who designed you for greatness. We've been given the tools to unleash abundance; it would be selfish not to utilize them.

Thinking Right

The five strategies I want to unpack over time center on our thoughts – challenging, correcting, and controlling our thoughts. Our mind is a powerful tool. With it we interpret everything that happens to us and assign meaning to those various events.

It has been said that it is not so much what happens to us that matters as how we respond to what happens to us. At the risk of sounding cliché, this is exactly right. Our life often lacks abundance and meaning because we think in terms of lack and meaninglessness. Our environment is limited because our thinking is limited. Controlling our environment is largely dependent upon controlling our thinking.

This goes beyond merely being positive or optimistic. It means correcting our limiting beliefs by thinking correctly about who we are and our purpose in life. Thus if I were to write a book (wink wink) titled, Help Yourself! then the subtitle would be: How to Enjoy a Life of Abundance by Thinking Right and Overcome Limiting Beliefs. (Maybe that's a bit long, what do you think?)

Right thinking is essential if we are to unleash the abundance in life that is ours by right and mandate to enjoy. The five strategies that will help us accomplish this ongoing project (remember, we're unfinished masterpieces) are:

• Living on Purpose
• Taking Every Thought Captive
• Renewing Our Minds
• Properly Utilizing Faith
• Serving Others
  

Additional resources include the Power of Mentors and Thinking Right About Wealth.

We'll explore these themes and others throughout this blog and examine each of the strategies in light of appropriate God-given universal laws or principles. We'll unpack and apply those principles to various life situations and offer some mental exercises so that we can grow and develop.

Along the way we'll note some 'wrong thinking' (and even dangerous teaching) that is circulating out there as well as discover some surprising truths about life, the universe, and everything. My hope is that this work might serve as a guidebook for those interested in such matters. If you've made it this far I'm assuming you're one of the people I'm hoping to touch.

Thank you for joining me on this journey.

The Power of Positive Thinking

This classic by Norman Vincent Peale helped explode the self-help genre and gave it credibility within the Christian community. Although the author appeals to a liberal mindset (religion is good for you and God is only about love), the positive thinking guideposts he articulates utilize transferable scriptural principles. This shouldn't become your bible, but it is a helpful read. I especially relate to this quote on How to Break the Worry Habit:

Worry is a destructive process of occupying the mind with thoughts contrary to God's love and care....The cure is to fill the mind with thoughts of God's power, His protection, and His goodness. (p. 129)

Do we need Peale to remind us what Paul has already stated in Philippian 4:8? Probably not. But can such reminders do us good? If read as practical suggestions alongside the scripture, I'm fairly positive they can.

Beyond Positive Thinking

Interacting with Beyond Positive Thinking, a book by Robert Anthony. One of the many self-help resources available online and anywhere. I like the challenge to move beyond positive vs negative thinking and begin right thinking, but listen to this:

The truth is we are in darkness because of our ignorance. (p 2)

Really? Is lack of knowledge all that is wrong with our world? Hmm. Let's put this to the test over the next few weeks. Whenever I do something wrong I'll just go to my bookshelf and get more knowledge. I suspect I'll be reading quite a bit.